In a downright civic-minded move, the owner of Nevada's Moonlite Bunny Ranch says that he wants to open up a brothel in Phoenix to help give tourists and NFL players in town for the Super Bowl next year something to do.

Dennis Hof says he wants to clean up the city's underground sex industry, and he's willing to give the city $500,000 to get the ball rolling.

"Phoenix has a problem and I want to help ... fix it," Hof told 12 News, adding that the prostitutes would be licensed and tested weekly for sexually-transmitted diseases. "Let's get rid of all the pimps and the criminal activities."

Super Bowl XLIX will be played in suburban Glendale next February. Hof says that he already has real estate agents in the area scouting out vacant hotels that could accommodate his sexy vision.

Hof sent a letter outlining his proposal (name-checking Eugene Robinson, Ray Lewis, Joe Arpaio and Meghan McCain, among others) to Phoenix Mayor Greg Stanton, who is no doubt thrilled to deal with it.

July 9, 2014

Mayor Greg Stanton:

For any civic leader, curtailing criminal activity is a constant concern, and I know that as the leader of a population of 1.5 million people, you must be vigilant at all times against its' scourge. As a former Phoenician myself, I would like to offer my personal resources and financial backing towards that effort at a time when the capital of Arizona is going to need it most.

When The Super Bowl is held in Phoenix in February of 2015, it will bring with it a potent wave of criminals from various corners of the offenders' spectrum. Illegal prostitution and underage sex trafficking will lead the charge, as it does every year wherever The National Football League chooses to hold its' annual championship game. Violent crimes are synonymous with the pimps who will set up shop all over your city, and disease will be prevalent with the untested and unregulated female victims that they keep under their brutal control.

Furthermore, while sex trafficking itself is a dangerous enterprise, its' side effects can bring with it the added threats of robbery and even death. The NFL players themselves have not been immune to such fates, with charges of solicitation (Atlanta Falcons player Eugene Robinson arrested for solicitation at Super Bowl 33, the night before a game that he was actually playing in), and even homicide (Baltimore Ravens Ray Lewis charged with a double murder the following year at Super Bowl 34). The San Diego Union Tribune reports that last year's off season arrest rate for NFL players is up 75% over the previous year, and with many of them making The Super Bowl the first stop on their off season schedule, this upward trend of dubiousness comes at the worst possible time for Phoenix and the safety of its' citizens. Add to that the abundance of white collar criminals that are drawn to The NFL's biggest annual stage at the behest of their corporate interests, and Phoenix will be opening itself up to a perfect storm of threats to its' collective safety.

The only hope of combating the inevitable reality of illegal prostitution and all of the dangers that it brings with it would be to allow me, America's foremost leader in legal prostitution with seven brothel licenses in the state of Nevada, to open a temporary location in your city for one month before and after the game takes place. When offered a choice, those who wish to patronize sex workers will elect for my safe, tested and regulated option of legal prostitution over that of the alternative risk of dealing in the criminal underworld where disease and assault are very real threats to any of its' participants. Under the legal model, sex workers are licensed and subject to background checks, while also being checked for sexually transmitted diseases. The transactions take place in the light of day within specifically regulated and policed environments, rather than in darkened back alleys under shadowy circumstances.

Mr. Mayor, I am prepared to immediately provide the city of Phoenix with $500,000 to begin preparing a location, ideally in an existing hotel that has been closed, for a temporary Bunny Ranch legal brothel. In addition to there being no start up cost to incur on the part of the city, the revenue that my legal brothel will bring to Phoenix will be a windfall of tax dollars that will rival any other profit that will be realized during the event. I will make myself immediately available to work with Sheriff Joe Arpaio and County Attorney Bill Montgomery to insure that my temporary business presence in your city results in a positive contribution to what should be a spectacular opportunity to showcase Phoenix's civic pride on a national stage.

Fifty years ago when I graduated high school there, illegal prostitution was rampant along Phoenix's Van Buren Street. Now, the problem has actually risen to epidemic proportions with the help of websites like It is a crisis that is only growing worse by the insistence on taking the same failed approaches to combating it, rather than new and innovative steps like the ones that I am suggesting.

I appeared this week on Arizona senator John McCain's daughter Meghan's TV show, and she told me that her mother Cindy (who is the Co-Chair of the Arizona Governor's Task Force on Human Trafficking) is very committed to fighting sex trafficking in the Phoenix area. In fact, The McCain Institute at Arizona State University has dedicated resources to studying this phenomenon. Cindy McCain was recently quoted as saying "The McCain Institute is proud to invest in new research surrounding sex trafficking and large sporting events. A research based, greater understanding of how these networks are operating gives us all a better opportunity to combat human trafficking every day." Meghan suggested to me that I would be a knowledgeable ally that could work with the McCain family in their pursuit.

On July 30th, I will be in the Phoenix area speaking to Summit Law School at a sex trafficking symposium being held there. I would be happy to meet with you and your staff while I am there.

I look forward to your response and the opportunity to work with you, giving back to a wonderful city that gave so much to me.


Dennis Hof

Owner, Moonlite Bunny Ranch

Carson City, Nevada

775 720 9090

However, there are a few minor things standing between Hof and his dream—most notably Arizona law, which forbids prostitution. State law also forbids the offering of money to make it happen (i.e. bribery).

"There will be no bunnies in Arizona," Phoenix Police Sgt. Steve Martos told 12 News. "The law is the law here in Arizona and we are going to enforce it as it is."

Image via TheTimes