Killer Owls Have Figured Out Doors, All Pets Doomed

Owls are one of nature's pure killing machines—and in Idaho they are apparently learning how to open doors and gorge themselves on mankind's innocent and beloved pets.

May God have mercy on us all, for the owls will show none.

According to the Couer d'Alene Press, an unidentified species of owl flew through an open sliding glass balcony door on the 10th floor of the Lake Tower Apartments on Sunday morning and ate one of Don and Sue Sausser's canaries.

The roughly six to eight-inch tall owl also injured a second canary, which was described as "visibly shaken" by the attack. It also reportedly left the Sausser's apartment covered in yellow feathers and bird shit.

The cunning owl had apparently worked out how to open the birdcage door to feast on the sweet and delicious canary flesh inside.

"It's the strangest thing I've ever heard of," Beth Paragamian, wildlife education specialist for Idaho Fish and Game and the Bureau of Land Management, told the Press—adding that it was a mystery why the owl would fly so high in an area without any tall trees, much less fly through an open door and go through all the effort of figuring out how to open a birdcage.

Of course, science may be stumped—but research I conducted as a child shows that such advanced predatory behavior toward caged birds is not uncommon in other species.

The Saussers found the owl hiding behind some bedroom furniture. It then flew back out the door and back into the wilds of Idaho, presumably to plan its next rampage on the heretofore impregnable works of arrogant man.

But stalwart canary owner Don Sausser says he'll be ready for the next attack, thanks to a strategically-placed twist-tie on the birdcage door.

It may be our only hope.

Image via Getty